The Well-Being Guilt Trap

It dawned on me the other day. Without realising, I have been putting myself under a lot of pressure for what seems like forever. I have felt such guilt around diet and fitness regimes that I have not been able to stick to.

For too long, I’ve been trying different diets to manage my symptoms. No dairy, no gluten, meat-free, cutting out sugar, cutting out processed foods, lots of supplements, the list goes on. You get the idea.

Whilst there is no doubt that all these things are good for your body, I have gotten completely overwhelmed with all the different advice that is out there about what I should or shouldn’t be eating. There is so much conflicting information!

In the beginning, changing what I ate was a way of taking some control over my condition, something that seems so impossible when you’re first diagnosed with MS.

But there are literally tons of different diet plans that claim to be the miracle solution to all our problems. The truth is they are not for everyone. Some work better than others. And some work better for some people than other people.

Throw in another condition and you’re gonna get in a right pickle.

For example, I also have Diverticular Disease, a problem with my bowel. It’s quite common but a flare is extremely painful and downright dangerous if left untreated. I heal my gut by regularly having bone broth which helps immensely. But for MS, I shouldn’t be having any animal products as the animal fat is inflammatory.

So, I’m constantly in limbo about what I should or shouldn’t be doing.

The same goes for exercise. I struggle so much to do the “little and often” that my physio and neuro suggest all the time. I just don’t see or feel any results and even when I do something, I feel guilty for not working “hard enough”.

I still haven’t dropped the mindset of it needing to be a tough workout to make a difference and on top of that, waiting for instant results.

When they haven’t come, over time, I have struggled to stick with anything consistently and then really beat myself up about it. How I’m so rubbish at staying disciplined. Why I just can’t stick with something. Why I’m so weak…

It has made me feel miserable and confused and frankly has made being consistent even harder. It’s too difficult to listen to all the advice and decipher which to follow, so I just gave up feeling defeated. 

Enough is enough

I have decided to just take a step back and stop with all the pressure. I have removed the annoying little app from my phone reminding me of all the new habits I’m failing to manifest.

I’m hiding the accounts on Social Media that remind me how badly I’m doing at “well-being”. They only share their successes anyway, probably feeling like they are failing at something else themselves.

It’s perfect timing too as we move into the most stressful part of the year. The craziness of Christmas and all that it involves have long been a stressor that I make a big effort to protect myself from.

It makes sense to just tone it down a little. Feel a little more. Breathe a little more. Slow down. Sip some tea, take my camera on a walk, and do some Yoga if the mood takes me.

I’m going with gentle. And no more feeling guilty.

I feel better already :)