An Update from the Seesaw

I know, I haven’t written in too long. True to its name, the seesaw has been up and down a bit over the past couple of months. When ‘stuff’ happens, I often just need a while to process and digest before I can hit the keyboard. I tend to focus on other things and distract myself for a moment. Writing is cathartic but it makes you face issues, brings out feelings, invokes thoughts and worries.

Some health stuff

I have a new condition to add: Diverticular Disease. Another one for life. This is a common one apparently. Lots of people have it without even knowing, probably mainly thanks to our Western diet.

Diverticular are small pockets in your bowel where things can get stuck, infected and basically hurt like hell. When that happens, it’s called diverticulitis.

I had two bouts of diverticulitis a month from each other. One of them required a short stay in hospital with some lovely IV antibiotics. So now, I need to figure out what I can and can’t eat. My internet research is not prooving fruitful as everyone seems to be different on this but so far I have managed to avoid another bout by excluding anything with pips and a diet with only moderate fibre.

Honestly, I feel like I need a degree to figure out what I should be eating, as well as a set of new taste buds to actually enjoy it all, and I’m even not a fussy eater!

Bruno

Some of you knew my cat, Bruno. He has been with me for almost 18 years. I lost him a couple of weeks ago now. He never had a thing wrong with him in his life and just got old. Over a week or so he simply ate less and less, lost more and more weight until he couldn’t go any longer. I called the vet that morning to let him go later in the afternoon. He didn’t make his appointment and died in my arms. I was glad I could spare him the car journey but my god, it was horrible. I just held him, talked to him and cried. He looked so scared. He knew what was coming and he was terrified. Utterly heartbreaking.

Now, my house is empty. I swear I can hear him call out for food sometimes. He drove us all crazy constantly meowing outside when there was nothing stopping him coming in. Now, I miss it. I even miss him tripping me up while I’m cooking. It has hit me so much harder than I ever thought it would.

One thing or another

I had already mentioned to my optician that my eyes get dazzled in bright, artificial light. During the eye test just a few days prior I realised that whole letters are disappearing from my sight, something I never noticed before. Suddenly and literally the day after Bruno passed, I was freaking out, really struggling to read my screen at work. I drove home early to still catch daylight.

What followed are two visits to the local eye hospital, but no findings. I have a follow-up appointment beginning of January, my ophthalmologist and my neuro both agreeing that it is not typical for MS and want to rule out a problem with my retina.
In the meantime, I am told to rest A LOT. A few months of health worries, Bruno and a couple of really stressful situations at work will hopefully be to blame for this weird blip.

Focus on the good stuff

Not always easy but I do try and do this with everything.

I’m chuffed to say that I am going to continue to write for TEVA Life Effects and will also get involved in doing some video for them. I have had some brilliant feedback from my articles and I’m really proud of that.

My recent MRI was clear showing no new activity. This really is brilliant news and also means that my therapy is working.

Now I do hope this problem with my eyes is nothing more than a flare, if it is MS-related at all. I am trying not to worry about a more permanent issue affecting my ability to take photos and write, I painstakingly and frustratingly dictated this blog…