My word of the Year – 2021

As I have done in previous years, I like to spend January pondering on a word to focus on in the year ahead. I love the New Year and feeling like having a clean slate to rethink and refocus. In reality, of course, New Year’s resolutions can be just another way of adding to our ever-growing mountain of pressure we put on ourselves.

But that is why I like to use a word instead. I can apply it to many different areas and work towards a feeling rather than a fad. The funny thing is, last year, I didn’t have a focus word. I just never felt like setting one, it must have been a premonition of what was to come!

2020

For us, last year definitely was not a complete write-off though. We were both lucky that our jobs are secure. I had a lot of time off on fully-paid furlough, which meant I could dedicate my full attention to homeschooling Noodle. Something I am really struggling within the current lockdown; his time round I’m back to work fully and so we are both juggling work with trying to share the homeschooling tasks. Teachers, we are unquestionably NOT!!

Gone are the balmy, long summer evenings. Everything is grey and dull. It’s difficult to get motivated. I still make time to get out into nature, which has saved my life in 2020. Now it’s cold and wet and it’s hard.

What I’ve also come to realise is how much I value my alone-time. I feel lucky that it’s only three of us in this house, but even that gets on top of me. I long for my own office to write, do yoga in, meditate, work and to shut the damn door when I flaming well want to!! I’m sure, I’m not alone there…

So whilst the start of this year feels like a slow, monotonous treadmill that we’ve been shackled to, I have to focus on the positive and I know that better things are just around the corner if we just hold on…

My word for 2021 is SHIFT

Shift my focus

Most importantly, I want to, I need to shift my focus to my health and well-being. It has been almost five years since my diagnosis (how is that possible??!). Whilst my latest MRI is stable, I am not happy with my level of day-to-day ability. Any walk further than one mile becomes difficult, my nights are often interrupted by pain and issues with my balance are really affecting, well, everything I do.

So, I have set myself some small, achievable goals to be more consistent and shift my daily focus to making my health a priority.  I want this shift to be permanent, so I will start slowly and work myself up.

Shift my diet

As you may remember, I’ve been attempting to go fully plant-based for a while, following the OMS Program. But this is just a mountain too big to conquer right now. Instead, I am focussing on removing any processed food that is still in my diet and reducing the amount and the types of meat we eat. We have just renewed our old Hello Fresh subscription and are choosing recipes that will help me to learn cook things I usually shy away from.

I also need to seriously tackle my addiction to sugar. Yes, it is an addiction. It’s my nemesis. Others drink wine or eat cheese. Mine is sugar, more specifically chocolate! I have decided to go cold turkey on this. It’s the only way and it will only be temporary. I don’t want to live a life without Milka. But right now, my body is full of inflammation and until that’s better, Milka will have to wait. It’s gonna be super tough, I’m actually quite scared about doing it. My head has been, intentionally, in the sand for too long.

Shift my mindset

I’m such a stress head and a big challenge will be finding time to meditate again, regularly. I have written before about how meditation can be really life-changing, but with everyone at home constantly, I need to make more of an effort to carve out time to meditate again. I’m starting slowly to give myself the best chance, gradually working up to more frequent and longer sessions. I would like to be able to meditate for 30 minutes at least five days a week. I really hope it will help me to reduce the stuff I stress about and just let things be.

Shift fear

Over the past couple of years, longer if I’m honest, I have developed a fear of falling. It stops me running, climbing slightly steep hills and makes me worry constantly about tripping up. Of course, part of this is out of my control. My foot just sometimes doesn’t feel like it belongs to my body. It’s really amazing how difficult walking can be when you can’t feel your foot. The best way I can describe it is it’s like walking on pebbles wearing a boxing glove on your foot.

More frequently, I am choosing to not even attempt something for fear of falling, getting hurt, looking drunk, looking silly. I cannot allow it to hold me back any longer.

So, combined with making consistent efforts with exercising and seeing my miracle osteopath again, I’m hoping to build some strength, hopefully, address some structural issues and get my confidence back.

Phew, this turned out to be quite a list! But really, I’m just looking to shift a few old habits and ideas into a more positive direction, gain strength and courage to be a little more like the person I was before. Do you have a word for this year? I’d love to know what it is. Thanks for reading, always x